I. True Empathy

T-16.I.1. To empathize does not mean to join in suffering, for that is what you must refuse  to understand. ² That is the ego's interpretation of empathy, and is always used to form a special relationship in which the suffering is shared. ³ The capacity to empathize is very useful to the Holy Spirit, provided you let Him use it in His way. ⁴ His way is very different. ⁵ He does not understand suffering, and would have you teach it is not understandable. ⁶ When He relates through you, He does not relate through your ego to another ego. ⁷ He does not join in pain, understanding that healing pain is not accomplished by delusional attempts to enter into it, and lighten it by sharing the delusion.

T-16.I.2. The clearest proof that empathy as the ego uses it is destructive lies in the fact that it is applied only to certain types of problems and in certain people. ² These it selects out, and joins with. ³ And it never joins except to strengthen itself. ⁴ Having identified with what it thinks it understands, the ego sees itself and would increase itself by sharing what is like itself. ⁵ Make no mistake about this maneuver; the ego always empathizes to weaken, and to weaken is always to attack. ⁶ You do not know what empathizing means. ⁷ Yet of this you may be sure; if you will merely sit quietly by and let the Holy Spirit relate through you, you will empathize with strength, and will gain in strength and not in weakness.

T-16.I.3. Your part is only to remember this; you do not want anything you value to come of a relationship. ² You choose neither to hurt it nor to heal it in your own way. ³ You do not know what healing is. ⁴ All you have learned of empathy is from the past. ⁵ And there is nothing from the past that you would share, for there is nothing from the past that you would keep. ⁶ Do not use empathy to make the past real, and so perpetuate it. ⁷ Step gently aside, and let healing be done for you. ⁸ Keep but one thought in mind and do not lose sight of it, however tempted you may be to judge any situation, and to determine your response by  judging it. ⁹ Focus your mind only on this:

¹⁰ I am not alone, and I would not intrude the past upon my Guest.
¹¹ I have invited Him, and He is here.
¹² I need do nothing except not to interfere.

T-16.I.4. True empathy is of Him Who knows what it is. ² You will learn His interpretation of it if you let Him use your capacity for strength, and not for weakness. ³ He will not desert you, but be sure that you desert not Him. ⁴ Humility is strength in this sense only; that to recognize and accept the fact that you do not know is to recognize and accept the fact that He does  know. ⁵ You are not sure that He will do His part, because you have never yet done yours completely. ⁶ You cannot know how to respond to what you do not understand. ⁷ Be tempted not in this, and yield not to the ego's triumphant use of empathy for its glory.

T-16.I.5. The triumph of weakness is not what you would offer to a brother. ² And yet you recognize no triumph but this. ³ This is not knowledge, and the form of empathy which would bring this about is so distorted that it would imprison what it would release. ⁴ The unredeemed cannot redeem, yet they have a Redeemer. ⁵ Attempt to teach Him not. ⁶ You are the learner; He the Teacher. ⁷ Do not confuse your role with His, for this will never bring peace to anyone. ⁸ Offer your empathy to Him for it is His  perception and His  strength that you would share. ⁹ And let Him offer you His strength and His perception, to be shared through you.

T-16.I.6. The meaning of love is lost in any relationship that looks to weakness, and hopes to find love there. ² The power of love, which is  its meaning, lies in the strength of God that hovers over it and blesses it silently by enveloping it in healing wings. ³ Let this be, and do not try to substitute your "miracle" for this. ⁴ I have said that if a brother asks a foolish thing of you to do it. ⁵ But be certain that this does not mean to do a foolish thing that would hurt either him or you, for what would hurt one will hurt the other. ⁶ Foolish requests are foolish merely because they conflict, since they always contain some element of specialness. ⁷ Only the Holy Spirit recognizes foolish needs as well as real ones. ⁸ And He will teach you how to meet both without losing either.

T-16.I.7. You  will attempt to do this only in secrecy. ² And you will think that by meeting the needs of one you do not jeopardize another, because you keep them separate and secret from each other. ³ That is not the way, for it leads not to life and truth. ⁴ No needs will long be left unmet if you leave them all to Him Whose function is to meet them. ⁵ That is His function, and not yours. ⁶ He will not meet them secretly, for He would share everything you give through Him. ⁷ That is why He gives it. ⁸ What you give through Him is for the whole Sonship, not for part of it. ⁹ Leave Him His function, for He will fulfill it if you but ask Him to enter your relationships, and bless them for you.